Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize