So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
