I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
