So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
