It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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