I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
