**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize