either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just want nice things and good sex
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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