Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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