Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
