There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
