guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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