Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
