New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
