He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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