Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
