ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
