it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
