Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
