p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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