so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
