We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I need to sanitize my soul.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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