Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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