Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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