how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
