guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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