WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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