dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
