Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
