Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
