I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
