Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
