Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
