whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
