My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
