for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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