When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize