so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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