Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

farters have to be the big spoon...

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(347): View more from New York

Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.

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(847): View more from Illinois

chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.

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(571): View more from Virginia

non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.

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(360): View more from Washington

she smelled like a LAN party

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(443): View more from Maryland

God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.

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(503): View more from Oregon

My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers

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(808): View more from Hawaii

In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.

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(208): View more from Idaho

There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.

(1-208): View more from Idaho

That's my favorite drunk.

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