Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
