So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
