Im at strip club and am horny
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
