Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize