Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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