I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm passing your future prison.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
