im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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