So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
