I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
She's like a pop up book from hell.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
