I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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