omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
