Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
