Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
