So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
