isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My vagina just clenched in fear
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
