Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
