is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
