Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
