Your mouth is God's brothel.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i need some magic done to my vagina
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
