Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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