Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
