Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
