you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
