Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks

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(504): View more from Louisiana

i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out

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(443): View more from Maryland

Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.

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(914): View more from New York

just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix

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(970): View more from Colorado

let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry

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(214): View more from Texas

Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.

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