Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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