you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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